Gay Pride and Bad Times: The Two are Unrelated
First, a message from our sponsor: Gay. It is Pride month, and I would like to use my platform to make it abundantly clear that I am straight. I am straighter than a ruler. As a straight man who enjoys heterosexual sex with female women, I decided that I wanted to write something in support of gay rights. I support gay rights. Ok, I have to go now. There’s thirty women in my bed with me, and I am attracted to all of them. Go Pride, even though I am straight. To be clear, I am straight. Ok, that paragraph was an old joke. Every straight guy who talks about pride always prefaces it with, “While I may not feel this way…” You can support being gay without emphasizing repeatedly that you’re not gay. Half of them look as ridiculous as the paragraph I wrote above. Personally, I’d love to be gay. It seems dope. Now, I do see that there are some disadvantages such as bigotry, homophobia, United States laws, but I am firmly in the camp of who gives a shit. Literally, I don’t care ab...