My Work

My last post was a thoroughly researched investigation into an American epidemic. I focus-grouped that shit. This one will not be that. I’m going to play this one loose. I don’t totally know what it will be about as of yet, but I am sure to figure it out as I go along. Also, I’ve been off my pills for half a week. It’s very ironic that I’m too stressed to call all the people I need to call to get my anti-stress pills. And irony is just what I want to talk about! I’m going to break this entry down into parts. IRONY, THE 1ST I finished school not too long ago with a classic unholy sprint to the finish line. I went on a 72 hour grind with nearly zero sleep, and my accomplishments in that span genuinely terrify me. I’m not going to bullshit anyone anymore. I am a genius. I’ve had the reputation for a long time, and I like it about as much as I hate it. In fifth grade, people were remarking about how smart I was to my face. My parents thought I was spectacular because I was reading books at...

TW: Rape and sexual assault: I’m going to discuss it very frankly. This is a topic I do not truly understand from the perspective of survivors, so I hope I do an adequate job. Unfortunately, I am an idiot, so caution is always smart. One of my most memorable regrets happened right after my first kiss. As you might have guessed based on my other blog posts, I had expected my first kiss to be a watershed moment of romantic fulfillment. I expected someone special and the beginning of a beautiful romance. In reality, my first kiss was in the middle of the night in a dorm room. I was drunk, and I had just learned her name. Evidently, she decided to kiss me, and I was like “sure.” So, I had my first kiss five feet from the bathroom where my roommates and I had been showering and pooping all year. I called it quits on the kiss soon enough and I withdrew into OCD, thought about a billion things. I walked her to the end of the building as nerves bubbled in my stomach, and she said some words an...